“I apologise for insinuating that women are incapable of making the sort of pivotal decisions that are needed in the high stakes business of nation-building.”
“I am sorry for my views on abortion and the rights of sexually assaulted women to get one if they so desire.”
“I regret the Facebook post I made 12 years ago which suggests that Nigeria isn’t ripe for a democracy and will do better under a fascist regime.”
“My thoughts on young people and their penchant for irresponsibility were formed at a time when I did not have adequate insight into the subject matter, I have since realised that young people are in fact one of the greatest assets our country has and I apologise for the negative impact my previous statement may have had on the younger citizens of our country.”
This will be many of us in the near future.
In the near future, a good number of us will be forced to express regret for our online comments. The posts we shared at a time when we felt strongly about an issue or even jocularly will come back to haunt us; no thanks to a world where political correctness is valued above truth.
Our current world is one in which it is hard to win. Not for too long. And when those who manage to scale the hurdles and smash the brick walls that stand in their way achieve the rare feat, they are pulled down by the same society that once celebrated them.
You cannot escape it, you and I will likely be caught in the same vortex that saw Kevin Hart apologising for a series of tweets he posted almost a decade ago. The perfectionism that is fast becoming an expectation in our daily interactions with one another will ensure this happens.
The star comedian who has had to step down as the host of the 91st Academy Awards only two days after he was announced as compere is being excoriated for the anti-LGBTQ comments he posted via his Twitter account many years ago. It did not matter that it was a personal opinion and at a time when the “Queer community” were not as accepted as they are now. And while I can imagine how his online remarks might have offended this category of people, I am also of the opinion that it’s preposterous to nail a man today for thinking a certain way almost an entire lifetime ago.
I also understand why Hart was reluctant to tender an apology. Paraphrasing his words, “Where’s the room for growth? Where’s the leeway for a man evolving over time?”. How many of us hold all the same views we had even two years ago? Anyone who still has a hundred percent record of standing by their beliefs and opinions from the far past isn’t growing. Such a one is close-minded and in a dynamic world where we have to learn, relearn and unlearn on a consistent basis, it’s safe to say that an individual like that will remain backward. Rooted in the same space their jaundiced approach to life has carved for them.
However, that’s what people who are castigating Hart are suggesting—that the young man cannot feel differently about his 2011 tweets now—that he is homophobic and represents a threat to an inclusive society.
The LGBTQ movement is a phenomenon many are still trying to wrap their minds around, whether we choose to admit it or not. Like the feminist ideology, it would take some time to get a large proportion of the populace to buy into it. We may shout ourselves hoarse in righteous indignation or insult “unbelievers” for their scepticism or outright rejection of these concepts, but it’s a reality we must acknowledge.
Cultures and norms and traditions and ingrained perceptions do not just varnish because someone waved a magic wand—they are changed and adopted through conscientious and consistent awareness and enlightenment.
We may choose to not admit it publicly, but many of us will remember an occasion or two where we have taken a stance on a matter only to shift position on gaining new knowledge.
I’ll make an example of myself: I am as straight as a ruler. I do not hate gay or queer people, I believe they deserve respect and protection like their heterosexual counterparts. The reason is simple: They are human and have a right to sexual expression, the kind that is premised on mutual adult consent. However, I also struggle to believe anyone was born with benign eros feelings for a person of the same gender which manifests later in life.
Perhaps, I do not just get it yet. Maybe one day I’ll better understand what makes the LGBTQ community who they are, but for now, I am not at that place yet. You decide if I deserve to be criticised for that.
These days one has to be circumspect to the point of paranoia before voicing an opinion. There’s always going to be that possibility of offending a group of people. But really, how humanly possible is it to take a stance or make a remark that will go down well with the more than 7.5 billion people in the world? This nitpicking of comments made aeons ago will only result in a vicious cycle. A booby trap.
One that lays in wait for everyone. Every single one of us.
I believe that no one should be villified for views held eons ago as far as it doesn’t destroy others, new information helps to change our opinions and make informed decisions hence tolerance is the key to achieving mutual understanding… This piece is timely and we’ll written, thanks for sharing Lolade.
Well, some would argue that his views hurt them badly, especially since he is a notable figure. Thank you too Ope.
Lovely write up!
Thanks, Dumebi.
The Premier League last week had all team captains wear rainbow coloured armbands in support of the LGBT community. I stil don’t understand the massive attention they are getting when there are bigger problems in the world.
I do feel for Kevin Hart but with the way the West has gone so massively pro-LGBT, the slightest comment from a big celebrity won’t be speared.
Hart might really hold on to what he believes but he just had to apologise for the sake of his career and reputation, the same way I believe not every EPL captain that wore rainbow coloured armbands actually support the LGBT. Its all in a effort to avoid trouble or controversy.
The pain of being politically correct when you don’t want to.
It’s the reality of the world we live right now. Some people in a group even found this post offensive despite the fact that I did not castigate the LGBTQ community. Our world is an extremely sensitive one and yes, being politically correct with everything seems to be the only way now. Thanks for contributing.
Very well written! I believe this cycle will go on for a while and when we have gone round it will end. These groups are on a mission – to get their pound of flesh back. It’s human – if you hurt me in the past, I’ll get you whenever I can. Even if it’s 20years later.
I tend to agree with you. Some people have chosen not to understand that everyone is fallible and this trend of shooting down everything that does not resonate with us will backfire one day. Thanks for chiming in, Miss B!
Nicely written Lolade. Some folks will still pull this your article up later in life and accuse you of being homophobic! Just as you said, it’s a sad reality we have to live with. “Political correctness” is valued far above truth and in fact, for many people even truth is considered as subjective and relative. Welcome to the post-modern world.
It’s already being interpreted as a homophobic piece in some forum I belong to. Yes, that’s the unfortunate reality of our world today. Good to read from you again.