February is one of my favourite months. For one, it’s the much-touted month of love and behind my sometimes aloof exterior, I’m quite the lover girl. Valentine’s Day has come and gone, but like it often does, the memories of the day linger long after the day is gone. For couples, it’s the one day even the shyest of them break their privacy rule to engage in some PDA. Singles dread the day as it represents a stark reminder of lost, unrequited or non-existent eros love, except, of course, the gangsters amongst them who cannot be bothered by all the fuss surrounding the day.
So, let’s talk a bit of romance (amongst other things) shall we?
I am into words. I love to hear sweet nothings. Despite my predilection for words of affection, however, I am unmistaken that what’s more important, and what indeed determines whether a person cares or not is what they do; how they treat you and not what they say. Words that aren’t backed by action mean nothing.
I’m a woman that likes to assured of her place through the calming effect of words, however, I would rather be with a man who never tells me he loves me and expresses his affection through his actions than one whose vocal prowess in the romantic department is unmatched but can’t seem to marry all that gift of gab with actual activity.
I am convinced the reason many relationships run into troubled waters is the absence of love expressed through action, and I am not just referring to dalliances and other sundry relationships. Our disposition to people we have known for a while is dependent on how we perceive, and our perception of them isn’t premised on what they say, but on what they do.
Our aunt’s words fell flat because they were never followed up with action.
Take politics as an example. Many times, we are carried away by a seemingly well-crafted manifesto. We laud eloquent speech above pedigree, and so we end up with charlatans masquerading as leaders. People who have mastered the art of deception through words.
Words are what they are…utterances into thin air when they are not followed up with attendant kinetic energy.
Growing up, I had an auntie who had the sweetest words. We did not see her often, but whenever we saw her, we never wanted her to leave. She was chirpy, fun, and alive. And she would promise us lots of goodies. As kids are inclined to be, we would get excited that our auntie would send us presents soon, as promised. We would await our goodies in anticipation, but nothing would surface in form of a gift from this aunt of ours.
Soon, even as young as we were, we learnt to not take her words seriously. And so every time she came up with the, “don’t worry, my darlings, I am sending you many chocolates and candies soon”, we would thank her, but tell ourselves we would only be breaking our own little hearts if we failed to recognise it was yet another empty promise.
Words fall flat with time when they are not accompanied by a corresponding move to them make good.
The way one is treated is what determines the peaceful longevity of a relationship.
One of my sayings is “Anybody can say anything. The way to know they mean it is what they do afterwards to demonstrate what they have said.”
And that’s because anybody can say anything. It doesn’t take much effort to talk, to promise, to give a grand speech about something or somebody, but it takes a lot more to do.
Don’t just say you love someone. Do something to show them that you love them.
Nigerian leaders are despised because they say so much and do so little. That alone is a pointer to how important it is to be a doer and not a sayer, for people may overlook it if you do not say much but are the first person to show up when it’s time to do.