Hot topics are a staple of our existence depending on our societal reality at a particular moment in time. The usual suspects are the ever-rising cost of goods and services occasioned by inflation, government policies (primarily unfavourable), relationships, and celebrity shenanigans, amongst other contentious issues.

However, none of these juicy subjects can hold a candle to politics as a topic of discourse in this epoch. Interestingly or unfortunately (depending on what you’re asking), the situation is likely to remain so in the next year. The actors, supporting casts and analysts are committed to making sure this happens. And speaking of political analysts, a title every Nigerian voter considers befitting of themselves, this essayist has observed that they fall into varying categories.

The Historians

If you have no desire to be schooled, do not cross paths with these ones. They are students of history who do not hold back on educating others on Nigeria’s journey from the pre-military junta days to the military era through the days of our “nascent democracy” to now that our democracy is no longer in the neophyte stage. Through their perennial lengthy takes on Facebook in defence of their political stance or preference of a candidate, they will take you back to the days of Awolowo and his alliance with Tafawa Balewa. It is they, who have the inside story of the civil war and why it was inevitable in the rebirth of Nigeria. There’s no doubt about their knowledge of history, but they can also take advantage of the ignorance and unwillingness of many to do independent research to misrepresent facts.

The Pseudo-Knowledgeables

The difference between the Historians and the Pseudo-Knowledgeables is that the former are indubitable political erudite. They are vast in political matters, therefore, when they share false information or misrepresent facts, it is deliberate and from a place of mischief while the latter is bereft of knowledge and disguises their near-emptiness with high falutin words and braggadocio. Unfortunately, faux knowledge purveyors are rife in the online space where anyone can get away with untruths. As the political race heats up, you can expect an increased proliferation of this category of people.

The Indifferents

They have plans to vote but they do not know for whom yet. One thing is certain, however, they consider political debates a waste of time. Save for one or two comments when they feel the need to chip in, they couldn’t be bothered to contribute to political discourse. To them, it’s a fruitless venture. You may succeed in swaying them to the side of your preferred candidate if you’re lucky to get them to listen to your pitch but you must envisage that they will change their mind if another approaches them with a more convincing value proposition. These ones are only interested in striving for their daily bread. Nevertheless, they cannot be ignored because every party is all too aware that their decision may just be the difference between a win and a loss.

The Bandwagonists

The party with the loudest supporters gets their votes. They are on the side of the crowd or the party that appears to be in a pole position to win. To them, it’s all about the numbers. Here, you’ll find the political jobbers and the sycophants. Bandwagonists can also be pure cruisers who have nothing to gain if they support a particular candidate or party but lend their voice to the clamour for votes for them simply because it is the fad to do so.

The Rabble Rousers

Rabble rousers are instigators. They live for troublemaking and the political terrain is their turf. Their takes on political issues are laden with jibes and derogatory words. They are cantankerous…always spoiling for a fight. and ever-ready to turn intellectual exchanges into bottom-barrel cacophonies. They are the reason social media spaces become war zones during electioneering. Be wary of these ones.

Take a look around you and you’ll be able to identify someone who falls into any of the aforementioned groups. It’s also a good idea to look within with a view to repenting if you fall into any of the not-so-enviable categories.