I have never been impressed by garrulous or talkative people. The foremost reason is that they do not have a filter; in the process of baring their minds all the time, they tend to say the words that should remain within. Words that are bound to hurt others and ruffle feathers when it’s unnecessary. There’s also the challenge of not giving adequate thought to one’s verbal expression when one speaks before one thinks thereby circumventing the natural course of things.
You know…the ideal sequence being getting a thought or idea, and weighing its implication before deciding whether to spew it or not. For the loquacious, the second part of the sequence is cut off and they go ahead to “speak their mind” without a thought for the aftermath of their decision.
As a communications professional, I continue the learn the importance of words and the critical nature of its use. The need to be circumspect whether one is giddy with excitement, frustrated by disappointment, or despondent by grief. How the first thought that comes to mind is not always the most lucid or advisable to air.
Because social media has diversified the information sharing space, everyone, despite their knowledge limitations has the freedom to propound their own theories regarding a matter. And make no mistake: the problem is not possessing the thought or musing over something. The problem is choosing to say it without mulling it over.
Aspersions are cast, issues are trivialised or escalated (as the case may be), and opinions are laid bare without to the unwritten laws of social interaction and humanity. And many times, the offensive view is not necessarily aired because someone is trying to be obnoxious, rather, it’s often of case of insensitivity borne out of poor judgement…the inability to discern the time or place to voice a viewpoint.
One of the major causes of strife is the untamed tongue or fingers (when one considers the fact that the preponderance of disgreements and ruckus occur in the online space). A young man purchases a new home and you have your reservations about his source of wealth but the reality is you aren’t sure, so why opt to discredit him when he claims he was able to achieve the feat by a dint of hard work.
A celebrity loses his child and instead of commiserating with the bereaved and taking whatever lesson there is to learn from the unfortunate incident, you go on a speculation spree; giving hot takes and making unsubstantiated statements about the occurrence.
For those who would reflect, one of the ways to curb the compulsion to say what you feel without a thought for how it will be received is to consider if you would be proud to read yourself a couple of years down the line. The second one is to assume you were in the other party’s shoes and how you would react or feel if someone else made scathing remarks about your predicament or even success.
The summary: think and think again before pouring out your mind. You’ll be doing yourself (and others) a lot of good that way.