Image: World Infi

“I don’t know if this one will live, I am deathly afraid even though the doctors say he is doing just fine,” Ese said to Aunty Stella.

“You have to keep faith, Esosa. Be optimistic, everything will be fine.”

Osahon and his family are growing tired, he tries to hide it, but I see the impatience and fading hope in his eyes”

“Leave Osahon and his people to think or do whatever they like and focus on yourself and the baby.”

I listened to their conversation with a smirk on my now fully formed face. I almost felt sorry for the woman who would be my mum.

Only she wouldn’t.

I was enjoying this. It would be the fourth time I would go down this path and it felt good to be fussed and fawned over time and time again. I remembered the times I had been excited about making a grand entrance…how my expectations had been brought to a painful halt.

One time, I had been all snuggled up in the fluid warmth, I was beginning to starve and wondered why I was yet to be fed. The rude intrusion followed by the crushing of my limbs and skull, the excruciating pain as life left me slowly. I thought I was loved but was certain I had been mistaken when it happened again two years later.

I had concluded I would never be wanted.

“Mrs Daniels, your baby is doing perfectly well, we should have a healthy and beautiful boy in three to five weeks,” Doctor Ali beamed. It was hard not to share his enthusiasm.

The first pangs of pain shot through Ese and she suddenly remembered what she had heard a contraction felt like. The baby is coming! Oh God, finally I’m going to be a mum! After all these years, my prayers are going to be answered!

She’s right, it was to be my birthday, but I have other plans. This time around I am going for good. I will not be here again. I’ll leave, but not alone.

Ese’s chances of ever conceiving a child are leaving with me.