Image: We Heart It

Two divergent personalities.

One for the public…the crowd, the virtual mob who may deride or ostracise you if you do not kowtow to popular opinion.

How can everyone you know align with the two major political parties while you opt to pitch your tent with the third force? So you choose to be a closet cheerleader and chant “Four plus Four!” or “Atikulated!” because you’d sooner jump off a cliff than admit you’re voting an unpopular candidate.

You can’t seem to wrap your head around the constant bullying on social media. The senseless angst and virtual lynching go against the very core of all you believe and stand for. You’d rather give a person the benefit of the doubt than condemn them when you’re lacking the full details of their alleged transgression, but your allies are on a denigration spree and you would be tagged a Goody Two Shoes if you attempted to make them stop, and so you join the horde in victimising the innocent.

It’s 2019, and more than ever before, the trend of belonging to some “woke” E-clique or offline posse is fashionable. A group controlled by a few who chart the course for the too many others who do not have a voice separate from the one they echo within the confines of their troop.

Something happens, and they are mute until their “General” takes a stand. Then, they nod in agreement like the head-bobbing of a lizard; the more people who share the opinion, the stronger their voice becomes in support of the same thing. And when another school of thought comes up with their own theory, like a pendulum, they swing to the other side, vacillating between differing beliefs because they are keen on being liked.

One of the most difficult concepts to decipher is the true personality of a person, especially in these times. As virtual communities wax stronger and exert higher influence on the dynamics of human interaction, more people are tempted to project a false image of themselves, The garrulous trouble maker who has earned a reputation for being cantankerous may be the most docile human indoors, but he must put up an appearance in public for fear of being tagged timid

Every woman is a feminist, one in five young people is an LGBTQ activist, others are liberals or rightists, whatever label…as long as it sounds like something interesting or rebellious, people will jump on its train. The average person never bothers to attempt to understand what a movement or ideology is all about before adopting it as an identity because it’s the cool thing to do.

It’s why we have a society of pretenders—people who stand for one thing in public—and another in private.

Who are you when you are in the confines of your room?

Alone.

Away from the litany of voices that drown yours?

You are probably the unassuming, respectful, shy one who always minds their business. A contrast to the fiery, irascible nosey parker everyone is wary of.

Why do you feel the need to be what you’re not?

Deep inside, couldn’t be bothered with flashy clothing, accessories or makeup, yet here you are borrowing, splurging and even stealing to ensure you have the pengest pictures on Instagram.

At work, you would rather just keep to yourself and get the job done, but you are a member of the office gossip gang; the ones who know every other person’s secrets.

Too many people are living a life that is far from their reality. One that ends up leaving them empty…hollow on the inside. After insulting strangers from the obscurity of life behind the keypads, they are still frustrated and angry. For two reasons—the subjects of their mockery continue to soar, oblivious of their existence—secondly, they are all too aware they aren’t being true to themselves.

One of the tragedies that can befall a man is living a life that isn’t his own; an existence that belies his true personality will only drive him to the edges of frustration and back.

When one remembers that there are more than seven billion inhabiting the world and not one is a replica of the other, it should arouse marvel in them.

It’s why it’s bothersome that one would choose to be a version of somebody else.

Who are you when you are alone?

What do you cherish?

What do you believe?

Who and what makes you happy?

Who do you love?

What cause would you live or die for?

You need to be able to answer these questions to live your truest life. They form the bedrock of your humanity…who you are, separate from your friends, your siblings and even your parents.

An understanding of this concept is why you would smile and ignore when others are ranting or choose to stay in a low paying job that makes you happy instead of changing jobs severally because your peers are doing the same.

A good sense of self will help you manage your energy and expectations; dispensing them only in places that generate the sort of reward you’d like.

Who are you when you are by yourself?