It is my unwavering belief that one of the most empowering qualities anyone can possess is the ability to move on. To soldier on and never look back wondering what could have been or spending precious time ruing the past. The thing is, no matter how intentional or deliberate you are about how you live your life, the things you say and do, the company you keep, your conduct at work and all other sundry things, you will make mistakes. Mistakes are an unavoidable part of the life of a person. A lapse in judgement will happen, however few or far between, because we are human.

You will look back and wonder why on God’s green earth you messed up that interview. You’ll be at a loss as to what you saw in the stingy and not-so-good-looking guy that made you date him. You’ll be gutted that you could lose composure to the point where you cussed someone out in public or consented to participate in a threesome. It was and still is out of character for you, but hey, you did it.

The burden some of us log around only exists because we have elected to not let go of the past. For some, betrayal or unfair treatment is the premise for their irate and unfriendly disposition. They were mistreated in the home or workplace and that unwholesome situation is the prism through which they view every other encounter.

Someone grows up in a home where domestic violence was a norm, and because of that, they form the opinion that a marriage cannot experience longevity unless it is marked by violence, and so they unwittingly inculcate the habit of “settling” tiffs with their fists when they get married.

For many others, it is their own shortcomings or errors that plague them to the point where they never believe in themselves enough to reach their full potential.

I keep wondering what would have become of Tiwa Savage if she had allowed the sex tape saga to define her. If she had wallowed in self-pity and considered herself to have failed her fans and all those who look up to her. Choosing to give up her music career or even lay low for a long time because of a moment of indiscretion or someone else’s need to see her embarrassed.

Would we have the same Tiwa Savage who emphatically cemented her place on the roll call of Nigerian music legends with her invitation and subsequent performance at the coronation concert held for King Charles?

I’m certain she’ll be patting herself on the back for rising above what would have been the downfall of many.

The lesson here: Whatever the situation, move on. Don’t get stuck.

We live in a society where people get shamed for virtually everything.

Spinsters and bachelors are shamed for being single. The married are shamed for not having kids. Married women are derided for not dressing like they are married. Older people are shamed for advancing in age. Single mothers are blamed for not enduring marriage. The physically challenged are overlooked for opportunities.

For the thin-skinned, these are valid reasons to cower. The feeling of inadequacy limits their growth and soon enough, they are stuck in a rut.

Ladies and gentlemen, nobody gets to define who you are without your consent. Korra Obidi overcame a messy divorce and endless trolling on social media to become a homeowner in the US while continually growing in her craft as a creative.

AY the comedian keeps getting flak for his dry humour but that hasn’t stopped him from achieving many firsts with the same comedy many say he is unsuited for.

Does this mean, he should not attempt to be better at his craft? No. However, his refusal to allow criticisms to weigh on his artistry has propelled him forward.

You should do the same regardless of what anyone says.

Learn from your mistakes, of course.

Failed JAMB multiple times? Do it again and again until you pass.

Lost a job on account of office politics? Eschew bitterness and forge ahead…you will get another where your contributions are appreciated.

Ill-treated and ditched by your partner? Pretend they do not exist and make something useful out of the rest of your life whether love finds you or not.

Challenge yourself to do better when you know you should. But never, ever let a situation get the better of you.