When it comes to matters of love, everyone has an opinion. People have varying views on how they would like to be shown love and even go one step further to attempt to dictate how other people should be loved. It’s why the relationship dynamic between two of the Big Brother Naija Season 6 ex-housemates, Saga and Nini continues to generate controversy among viewers. The majority find Saga’s undeniably enamoured self off-putting; those on the other side of the divide insist a man like Saga is every woman’s dream and critics are only being hypocritical with their condemnation of his approach.

As a long time fan of the Big Brother franchise, I have been an ardent viewer for years and despite my busy schedule, I have been deliberate about seeing this year’s show in bits and pieces when I am not working. Like preceding shows, romantic feelings have developed in this year’s season: sometimes, these “ships” are undefined, one-sided or amorphous in nature, and at other times, they have been reciprocated.

The Saga-Nini friendship was interesting to watch at first…I mean, a good looking dude by most standards and a lovely young lady will always attract more than a cursory glance; that’s until things turn “bleh”.

In the beginning, it was easy to make excuses for Saga. Here was a young guy who was trying to win the affection of a lady that claimed she already had a man. It behoved him to prove himself a worthy adversary to her boyfriend, and so, the close marking was excusable…at first. But it all became tiring when he chose to become Nini’s appendage. He had to be everywhere she was; her shadow couldn’t have done a better job.

The chronicles of the lovestruck man would have been bearable to watch until things came to a head when Big Brother chose to make Nini scarce for 24 hours. What was clearly a prank by the organisers of the show turned into a pity party for an obsessed Saga who cried and complained and almost became depressed on account of not being in the same space with his object of affection.

Again, there were comments about him being the ideal man for women the world over, the one they fasted and prayed and fought their ilk over. And to me, this notion just smacks of ignorance or delusion.

For the most part, I am certain that love isn’t designed to suffocate either party. For adherents of Christianity, for instance, we learn of a God who loves his creation but who also gives them the latitude and free will to choose even though he knows what’s best for them. His love, though fierce, is exhilarating. It doesn’t stifle or attempt to dictate. It simply guides. And I think that’s one of the first things anyone who desires true love should lookout for—a love that frees.

In the beginning, a possessive partner may seem sweet. The attention, the protective disposition, the willingness to risk it all to be with us is the seeming stuff of dreams come true. But anyone who’s had someone stalk them or suffused them with wanton attention all in the name of love knows it’s all a farce; the prelude to a sinister outcome.

If you love somebody, you would let them be and breathe.

How does one explain a grown man crying over an obvious prank in a high stakes game?

You say it wasn’t an obvious prank? Now, come along with me.

The housemates are in an enclosed space. They have no contact with the outside world and can only step outside the house when they are evicted or in a situation where they need urgent medical attention. In the case of the latter, they would be unable to continue the game.

All of a sudden, a housemate goes “missing”. In a house where there are cameras everywhere and one under the ever-watchful eyes of Big Brother.

The same Saga who was discombobulated by Nini’s disappearance had only the week before been asked to undertake a secret task (one he failed woefully), so how come he couldn’t fathom the apparent—”This must be Big Brother’s doing; there’s no way Nini would actually go missing and the show would go on as though nothing had happened.”

I may not be as critical as those who have lampooned Saga for his inability to get a grip on his feelings, but I certainly would not be egging him on or encouraging him to relentlessly pursue someone who has repeatedly made it clear she’s with and is loyal to someone else.

No one should lose themselves or their desire to excel at the things that matter because of love, less so, unrequited love. Doesn’t make sense now, won’t make sense in the future.